😩 Progress (Updated)

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Heart Shattered, Mind Blown... My ex of 8 years got 9/10 of these. 

(He gave me TONS of compliments...  )

Apparently that was just manipulation. 

He LITERALLY never even loved me... He THOUGHT he did... I THOUGHT he did, but literally he just used me for 8 years. 😭😓

Then when I stopped letting him use me, he acted like I was a traitor, BETRAYING him, then found a new woman to do the same thing to. 

He can't even take care of himself and he found a new person to leach onto... SMH 🙄

He spent all his time in his Man Cave, no time with me, or if he did it was out of obligation... Expected me to bring him his meals. Holidays didn't happen with us, unless his family Invited us and we had to go there empty handed cuz his inability to find work and my Income gone to rent. 

All I wanted was a Partner who put in EFFORT. IF I NEED Help with Bills, and never get that, but get yelled at that I'm Insensitive and not understanding of a lazy narcissist who just wanted a place to live and be alone (man cave 24/7, though he has 2 man caves, and his girlfriend house...), and cook his meals. 

Omg the Tantrums & Lectures 🙄

And a few days ago he treated me like a child belittling me the store when he didn't like the bottled water I was buying. Lecture & snotty attitude & dirty looks for water He didn't like ... Poor cashier looked like she needed to call the cops.

Watch this video on narcissists Controlling people's diet... 

Yeah

He projects his faults on me, can't own up to anything, calls ME a narcissist... (I'm definitely guilty of things before I researched narcissm, but he's Textbook, yet QUICK to find any fault I may have so he isn't responsible. 

(Just like letting him use me and live rent free while serving him food, pleasing him whether I wanted to or not, but my unhappiness wasn't enough for valitidy in breaking up with him, I in turn BETRAYED him for not letting him go a ninth year without work and no income. I betrayed HIM cuz he spent 9 years depressed denying therapy, and accusing me of being insensitive.

(He also said my blog was a waste of time... That made me I lose drive to work on my blogs for a while (same thing Brian Laundrie did to Gabby, said her blogs were a waste... He had issues with bottled water too... W&t ability to manipulate anyone into believing anything he said...  I would hope he wants to work on these things too. He's got a Serious Anger issue... Short fuse (quarter or a millimeter)  

Then after a couple years I kinda burst back in but directed on myself and what I was going through instead of my business, I had no one listening to me on a personal level, especially my ex, so I just posted here... soon I'll get back to more business or make a new business page )

PS I CAN'T WAIT to find work 😉 

First 2 apps got me calls. About to put in a few More. 

Oh... when he said he wanted to be allies, STILL be friends. 🙄🙄

(Note to the Ex:)

BUT INSTEAD of seeking Therapy, and going to A Temp Agency... (They hire on the spot, so no excuse for 8 years of unemployment makes up for that) and Making yourself better, you hop into some other poor broken women's bed to break HER down into your little puppet. 

Replacing the woman won't work. FIXING YOURSELF will. It's called Growth. But you've been hopping into beds since your ex wife and it just never ended. Literally how much time between girlfriends did YOU have? (The last couple I'm also guilty of, which is why I noticed patterns like this when looking into this topic. I was repeating behaviors my exes used on me. My first love married the next girl he dated and then tried to date me after their nasty divorce. I spent 6 years healing, had dealt with my second bitter breakup and rekindled with that first love. BIG mistake. After he left me the second time, married THAT  next girl too, it sent me into a whole needing to just be with someone instead of healing AGAIN from him. So the next couple bfs didn't have MUCH space between, maybe a few months to a year, one I moved on within weeks when they wouldn't leave my home... he finally believed me when I started dating someone else. I started feeling that to be heard or taken seriously, I needed a NEW relationship to move on. Otherwise they'd come back a (hoover)me again. 

Jump to TODAY when my ex  FROM THE PAST LIVES my mom and I can't even think of visiting her without running into him... AND SHE DOESNT return my calls. The ULTIMATE Ex Hoover Manipulation.  

She can love him all she wants, but it's not the way to get back into my life. I don't date Exes, especially ones I've dated multiple times already... He can Bite Me too.

I won't Make you so Anything, but If I ask and you stomp your feet and throw a tantrum cuz you don't WANNA, why the hell should I "oh poor baby" you? 

GROW up 

I want a man who knows what hard work is, knows what struggle is and can work their way out OF IT. Someone who wants to have a TEAM, NOT A MOM.  

HIS MOM still helps him with EVERYTHING... ENABLING HIM. I love her dearly, she's the main reason he and I survived, I do owe her a lot, HOWEVER, SHE RECENTLY pointed her finger at me as If I didn't feel sorry for him enough and didn't give him enough chances or something. 

MOST WOMEN would leave someone after 10 months of this. I lasted 8 years. The years went on and on and made ME more depressed. It was my fault for being a doormat soo long, but not my responsibility for him not finding work and stepping up. I GAVE HIM YEARS of support, found him potential employers, was a name for his references, and he never went to a temp agency even though he knows they hire on the spot... He didn't want quick work he wanted excuses to not have work.

 I just refused to be a second mother/enabler for any longer and he didn't like it (his mother especially, cuz now she is helping him even More, and helps me cuz he never was able to help me, and I'm stuck til I find more income.

I will find work though, super quick because I actually WANT work & WANT to succeed. 

SORRY, Not Sorry. 

I spend years alone, with only my blog to talk to, so this is me working through my experiences.... 

This is NOT me "living in the past" this is me Learning From my past, and expressing it. Speaking MY truth & growing, (AND EVEN hoping for some sort of validation after years of being ignored) it isn't living in the past it's preparing for better future relationships. 

Living in the past would be marrying someone who is the cause of all your pain cuz it's convenient. That's living in the past. 

Some MARRY their abusive past without even realize it taints their future, I'm just moving on before I got to that point. Marriage doesn't fix problems, it HIGHLIGHTS them. Thank GOD I never married him. That's Just more of a financial nightmare and possibly YEARS of torment avoided... 🙏