Everything you see here was taken from the links of the corresponding article sections
I did NOT write any of this. This is a collective of a couple articles about Narcissist & their Victims.
(clickable words are the pages they came from)
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Gaslighting and Social Isolation
The term Social Distancing likely entered the majority of our phrasebooks in mid-March 2020, but the practice has long been a successful tool of coercive and controlling behaviour by perpetrators. Social isolation successfully shuts down routes to their victim’s safety support networks and instils a sense of reliance on them, (the perpetrator), and them alone. A rise in stress and strain on mental health, financial difficulties and increased alcohol and drug consumption due to the recent global pandemic, has left societies vulnerable even more at risk when trapped in their own homes.
- Gaslighting is
mind-altering abuse. - Gaslighting is insidious and difficult to prove, as there are rarely identifiable physical scars.
- A Gaslighter’s goal is a concise effort to keep the other partner in the relationship from their rightful, equal status.
Often the perpetrator is charismatic and the sort of person generally well-known and liked. While gaslighting tends to be associated with narcissistic personalities as traits commonly overlap, there’s no definitive textbook case. Gaslighting however is regarded as the first “go-to” in a narcissist’s toolbox.
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the Following is from THIS article
What is a Gaslighter Personality?
While there is no such disorder as gaslighter personality disorder, perhaps there should be. These individuals tend to have authoritarian personalities. They find absolutely no fault in themselves, but they find it very easy to point out the shortcomings of other people.
Many gaslighters do have some type of personality disorder. Antisocial personality disorder is very common among people who display this type of behavior. They may be referred to as a sociopath or psychopath because of their lack of empathy for others, manipulative tendencies and desire for mind control. Some people with antisocial personality disorder can become violent.
Another personality disorder that is common among gaslighters is narcissism. People with narcissistic personalities tend to have an inflated sense of self-esteem. They make it a point to make everything about them and they get offended if they are not getting enough attention. A lot of narcissists will appear to be helping others, but they always have some type of self-serving agenda underneath.
What are Some Common Gaslighting Tactics?
There are several forms of gaslighting and this type of behavior often happens in stages. Some of the most common tactics people use include:
- Denying something for the purpose of confusing you. They may have said something, but even if there is clear proof, they will deny it. The purpose is to deny the reality of the situation and to get you to feel as though you imagined it.
- Telling lies about you. Gaslighters frequently tell lies and they act as though they are shocked when they are confronted about it. These individuals do not try to be sneaky about their lies; instead, they tell them with such conviction that it can make you doubt the truth.
- Actions that do not line up with what they are saying. Gaslighters will typically twist the truth to make you question your own sanity. But their actions are very different from what they are saying.
- Projecting onto others. Gaslighters will frequently accuse others for their own faults or shortcomings. Cheating spouses will often accuse their partners of cheating in an attempt to take the focus off themselves.
- Manipulating you by using your friends or loved ones against you. They may try to get you to turn against people you care about as a way to isolate you and give the gaslighter more control over you.
What is it That Turns People Into Gaslighters?
People are typically born introverts or extroverts, but they are not born to be gaslighters. This is learned behavior that comes from repeated social conditioning. Gaslighters will often experience it for themselves so they feel the effects of it. Or, they may see it evidenced elsewhere in their lives. Regardless, they come to view it as a tool that can be used to help them get what they want. It is a cognitive strategy that can work when it is not being seen for what it really is.
What are Some Steps You Can Take if You are Being Gaslighted?
First and foremost, it is important to consider therapy if you feel you have been a victim of gaslighting. A therapist can help you understand these behaviors and they can assist you in deciphering the truth from the lies you may have been told.
Additional steps to take include:
- Understanding what is happening between you and the gaslighter and calling it what it is – a dysfunctional relationship that is not benefiting you at all.
- Learn how to tell the truth from the lies. It might help to write down your conversations with this person in a journal so you can look at them later. Do you see any patterns? Write down how this person makes you feel too.
- Decide if you are engaging in a power struggle with the gaslighter. If you find that you keep having the same conversation over and over again, but no results are forthcoming, you might be getting gaslighted.
- Think about what your life might be like without that destructive relationship. This may cause you to feel anxious, but keep your perspective positive and imagine what good things could come of not talking with that person anymore.
- Journal about your feelings and give yourself permission to feel anything you are feeling. Look for triggers that cause negative reactions in yourself.
- Open up with your friends about what is going on. Ask them to be honest with you about the other person’s behavior. Do they see it as gaslighting?
How do You Know if You are a Victim of Gaslighting Emotional Abuse?
A lot of people who are being gaslighted do not realize it. These individuals are actually victims of gaslighting emotional abuse, which can be incredibly psychologically damaging. You might be a victim if you:
- Find that you frequently second-guess yourself on just about everything.
- Find yourself asking yourself if you are too sensitive several times a day.
- Find that you often feel confused or crazy.
- Find that you are constantly apologizing to people when there is no need to.
- Feel unhappy, even though there are good things happening in your life.
- Find yourself making excuses for your partner’s behavior.
- Withhold information from people so that you can avoid having to make excuses.
- Feel as though there is something wrong, but you cannot put your finger on what it is.
